|Orchestra rehearsal January 2020|
I was looking for a picture on my phone from an activity last winter, and happened to see a group shot of our lego robotics team and was hit by a wave of --- I'm not sure, homesickness? But, instead of for home, just regular life?
This has been (for nearly everyone in the world) a different kind of year. I couldn't have imagined at this time last year what was to come and the changes that our family would make. But mostly, I've been fine. And many parts of this year have been even really wonderful. But I think maybe I've kind of forgotten how nice it feels to be with other people...
One day in the Spring, I sat at the roundabout with a friend and talked, and as I felt myself filled up with such a simple conversation I realized I've missed this.
We made plans with a few other COVID homeschooling friends to meet once a week and give our kids a chance to play and be together, and I soon found that I was looking forward to those Tuesday afternoon visits even more than the kids were.
One day in the Fall a friend texted, "I miss YOU!" and I still can't quite find the right way to say it, but it mattered to hear that.
A few times this year we've been able to get together with family (with some very careful quarantines), and it has felt so nice to be together.
Seeing that Lego Robotics club picture feels like another lifetime - did we really do things like that? was that really our life once upon a time? And all the everyday photos surrounding that one felt so special, important somehow... a dinner out, a big group of Ellie's friends all gathered in close for a picture at her birthday party, rollerskating at the Fun Park, a visit with my sister and her family, company and kids' friends at our house, orchestra rehearsal (above), iceskating on hot chocolate club day, a recital, a trip to Disneyland (!), Lego Robotics meetings, bowling with the kids, a winter scout campout for Landon, a trip to SLC with Ellie's orchestra group... what a lot of regular life that very soon after turned into not-so-regular life!
Next month, I should be able to get a vaccine (!) and we'll start transitioning back into... our old life? regular life? a new, new-normal life? I'm so grateful for the miraculous speed that this has been developed and for the hope it has given us throughout this year, and I'm also a little nervous somehow (sometimes for me change can be hard even when it's really good change).
I think I've kind of gotten used to the life we've lived this past year. Some things are still challenging, and my heart aches for the difficult times my kids have faced. And I am also so grateful for all the sweet and wonderful times we have had. When I found the right RA medications and started to feel so much better, I remember thinking so often something like, "I had forgotten I could feel this good" and I wonder if that might just be how we feel being with others again in everyday life.