Thursday, May 23, 2019


We have had pretty solid springtime storminess for the last little while. Today the wind has been wild -- Ellie's district fun run was cancelled (she was going to be in the fastest heat with the goal of not coming in last place :) I was so proud of her for doing her best and working so hard on her timed runs in P.E.!)

Also, I've been back and forth to the school a bit today, and coming home this last time after taking Porter to kindergarten, we saw that this huge tree at the park had fallen! It looks so crazy too because there are no roots pulled up or anything, it's just like it was balancing barely under ground and then just tipped over - Yikes!

Tuesday/RA Update

There's this little sound byte I hear on our radio news station very once in a while that goes something like this - -
"It feels like Tuesday..."
"Tuesday doesn't have a feel."

I heard this yesterday as I was heading from a late afternoon doctor's appointment to an evening Middle School event, feeling pretty miserable. And I couldn't help but think about how these days (because of one of my RA medications), Tuesday does have a feel and it's very much like the all-day morning sickness of pregnancy, except without the joyful anticipation of a newborn. Blegh.

Today, on a Wednesday, that seems like a terrible thing to write down -- what a complaint! It's not that bad, think of all the people going through much worse, etc. etc. But that's the thing about days like this -- they wear me out.


Last time I met with my doctor, I was feeling so much better. And so hopeful. (And it was a Thursday :)  The new medication I had started at the beginning of the year or so was working. I woke up one morning and I could touch my left pointer finger to the base of my thumb and I celebrated that huge, measurable progress! I was feeling so much better and so hopeful, even starting to imagine what it might be like to keep feeling better and better...

But then my progress kind of leveled out over the last couple months, and then the last few weeks I've just not been feeling well.  When I met with my doctor yesterday I was sick to my stomach from the medicine (Tuesday), worn out and achy from the arthritis, and discouraged with the lack of progress with my new medicine (Still very grateful -- but also discouraged.)

Probably it was great that I met with him on a Tuesday because I couldn't help but give a very honest report -- I'm worn out --  But, feeling a little embarrassed at my complaints,  I imagined when he left to set my next appointment that he'd be telling himself 'make sure not to schedule on a Tuesday again! 'But my appointment card returned with a Tuesday written in, and I felt so grateful.

Here's something about RA -- it's slow finding solutions. Medications take a long time to try out and see if they're working. We made some tweaks to mine -- keep going on the new one and hope for more relief,  a little less of the Tuesday-misery-inducing one :), x3 on the try-to-help-the-miserable-Tuesday-one-not-be-so-bad one, a little of another new one to try. And then we wait for 3 months and see what happens.

(Also --  My doctor shares an office with the oncology department. So, each time I have an appointment, I am overwhelmingly reminded that even though this is a hard thing to deal with, there are much harder things I could be dealing with.)


Today I woke up in recovery mode. Still a little sick, still the hardness of a regular morning. But, with the 'I can do this, remember all the good things' kinds of feelings back. Hopeful to think about new things and old things I know might help - things I can work on to feel better. Grateful to think of all the Tuesday moments yesterday that were still so sweet:

+ Sitting on my bed singing Old MacDonald and Sticky Bubblegum with Isaac and a friend I was watching for the day.

+ Resting on the couch and listening to the kids play together so happily, "Pretend I'm_____ and you're..."

+ Celebrating Landon and his hard work to keep a 4.0 this year in school.

+ Sitting at the kitchen counter, enjoying the busy-ness of after school time with all the kids plus a few friends over with Ellie to rehearse for a play a friend is creating.

+ Seeing Owen so proudly slicing up an orange - so happy for the new skill he'd learned.

+ A dinner of  soup and tortillas picked up by Jordan (along with all the kids) even with a long wait to get it.

+ And our warm cozy home, soft cozy bed on a cold rainy day.

Friday, May 17, 2019

remembering a happy farewell

I just found this sweet picture on my phone today of a happy memory -- the morning Jordan and I left for New York, the kids all made a plan to see how far they could ride their bikes along with us. While we loaded suitcases, they got ready on their bikes and rehearsed their plans. And as we drove down the street, they rode on the sidewalk along with us till the next corner (where we suggested they head home ;) It was a happy sweet send off from these kiddos we love. 

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Ready for summer

We are ready for summer break around here.

Soccer season is over, end of level testing is done, our lunchbox stashes are pretty well depleted, and the kids countdown of school days (which has been going for the last month or so) is to the single digits!

I'm excited for ---

popsicles, helping the kids in the garden, slow mornings, daily walks, kids lunch making practice, some Portuguese learning time with Porter, the library summer reading program, some summer school time (though I still need to make plans for this), regular piano lessons, all the fresh fruits (watermelon! peaches! raspberries!) and just a general slower schedule.

Just nine and a half school days left! :)

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

two fun sandwiches

Early in the school year, we watched this video about pb&j in space. Since then, Porter chooses 'space sandwiches' about every other day. Something about it just makes me so happy each time he asks for these. 

Also, when Landon was a toddler, I started making these circle sandwiches (Isaac's above) by cookie-cuttering a peanut butter jelly sandwich with the peanut butter lid (Costco size, so not as much sandwich goes to waste). Still going strong ten years later, these were one of my great mom discoveries! 

I like lunch time with these two boys. I eat later, so usually I just sit and talk with them while we listen to some fun and happy kids music, and then we get ready to take Porter to kindergarten. I'm going to miss the mornings with these two boys next school year, but I'll just enjoy it for now!

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Mother's Day conversations + more painting to come :)

A beginning rough-sketch of my Mother's Day flowers (that I drew today while talking to Porter and Isaac and encouraging them to keep eating their cheese roll ups and apple slices for lunch)

The kids brought a home a fun little game for Mother's Day (something I'd seen before, but I think maybe hadn't taken the time to actually do?) - A bag of m&m's with questions to ask for each color. I took time with Porter, Ellie, and Owen to each play on their own and it was a very sweet game. We got to tell each other about favorite days, bad days, things we love about each other, and other silly and serious topics. It made me really want to take more time for little conversations like this more often. 

A couple of answers I can remember from the kids: 
A bad day: "every Monday when I am going back to school" "All the days before Christmas or a birthday or something exciting -- they aren't bad, but they just feel so long because you're so excited about the next day!" 

A good day: "Christmas! It's like everything is just so fun on that day -- we have a yummy breakfast, and stockings are fun, and presents are fun, and we have yummy lunch and dinner, and we get to play with all our new things, and it's just like there is nothing bad on that day!" 

One sweet thing that came up through this (and on their little 'greatest mom ever' fill-in-the-blanks)  was about me drawing and painting -- Mom's favorite thing to do is ______ (paint!) Mom's really great at _____ (drawing) What's one of your favorite things about me? (You are great at drawing and painting!) 

Again, I know I'm not so great at this! :) But I'm learning and practicing, and it was so sweet to hear these little encouraging comments. I finished my April painting challenge and had only gotten my supplies out a couple of times since, but all their sweet comments encouraged me to keep trying and working on this! 

Monday, May 13, 2019

Weekend Report

One happy mailman at school pick-up

Friday night pizza movie party (Lego Movie 2) plus a solo bike ride to pick up our van from the auto shop.

Saturday working day (one last soccer game for Landon, lawns mowed and edged, garden prepped AND mostly planted - woohoo!, raspberry patch worked on, young women lesson prepped, mother's day surprises planned by Jordan and the kids :), garage tidied, bathroom flooded + cleaned (again!)

Sunday with lots of sweet Mother's Day surprises (sweet and silly notes and cards made at church, flowers and $ toward an ice maker from Jordan, garden flowers from Landon,  breakfast in bed plus a handmade pop-up book from Ellie, Paper hearts from Owen, a butterfly flower decoration from Porter, and a snicker's bar from Isaac ("can you share it with me?") Plus yummy meals and perfect strawberry shortcake for dessert!