Wednesday, May 27, 2020

trucks for 3 minutes

Jordan is doing school time today with the kids, and I'm using the time to make plans for our summer school time and our summer days. As I was thinking about each of the kids and making notes about what each of them needs right now,  Isaac's list was simple
1. Read to Isaac
2. Play

Then I started to remember (what feels like a different world, almost as much of a memory as any of the older kids toddler & preschool days) what our days were like a few months ago, just me and Isaac.

Morning jobs, movie time/shower time, preschool time. On our own, preschool time was a scribbled list of activities with a little drawing for Isaac to see what was next. And always on the list was trucks for 3 minutes. Thinking about that trucks for 3 minutes filled me up with all the feelings and I had to switch courses from my plans to write just a minute and remember.

Isaac loved to play trucks -- the kind of play that is hardest for me where 'you be this one' and 'I'll be this one' and we take our trucks on imaginary adventures. So I'd set a timer for 3 minutes and every day we'd play and it was as much as I could happily do, and it was something. And then we'd do other things together that were also sweet and happy for both of us.

And now those days are gone and I don't even know for sure if Isaac still loves playing trucks. And really, I could only manage 3 minutes? Why is that? (Though I think I will always remember playing ducks with little Landon when I hadn't yet learned to set a timer and I know that wasn't my favorite, though it was memorable!)

I am sad that those sweet, slow days with just Isaac at home were cut short. We've figured things out and we've made it through this school year with 2 1/2 months of learning to home school, and many things have worked well and some things have been hard.   This little thing of playing with Isaac, of talking with him, of seeing the world for a few hours each day with just my 3-year-old little boy -- I hadn't realized till just now, thinking of those trucks for 3 minutes days -- I miss those days.