Thursday, May 2, 2019


A winter time picture at the school (though we did have a decent amount of snow yesterday too!)
(This is one of those posts that I can already tell is true for me now, but hasn't always been, and probably won't always be...) 

As I was walking to Porter's classroom yesterday, I saw one of the early teacher appreciation door decorations up - cute and clever -  and I felt this huge wave of relief -- I have no doors to decorate!!

Last Fall at back to school night as I finished visiting classrooms and talking with teachers, I headed to the sign-up tables by the main office. And then I decided to just walk past the tables and out the doors! It felt almost a little rebellious, while at the same time I sort of planned to just sign up later...

The first time I saw a reminder about the monthly PTA meeting at the school, I pictured myself there with the boys (as I had been over the last couple of years) with Isaac running around and me trying to juggle snacks/ipads/books/toddler/preschooler and also half-way listen in, feeling guilty about all of the things I wasn't signing up to help with while everyone else seemed happy to raise their hands again and again... and all I could think was 'Why did I do that? What felt so important that I put myself through the stress of all that?! So, no meetings for me! 

I still helped out this year, just in ways that felt more manageable and enjoyable - Jordan and I did lego robotics so I spent time every week planning and prepping and coaching. I've helped in Porter's class with STEAM bins each week, and spent the last 30 minutes in Owen's class that day helping with whatever comes up. I went to our SCC meetings and some meetings with the architects for the new school (like one I'm leaving for in a few minutes) - and those felt like they gave me a good enough idea of what things were going on at the school.  

Only about a month ago I was having some email issue and after checking with a friend about it, I realized I hadn't been getting any of the PTA emails for the year...I hadn't even noticed (or missed...) these! :) Only in the last couple weeks as I've gotten a few emails did I realize how nice it was to just not even have to think about or choose if I was going to help with one more thing or not...

(And really, I think that I've probably done as much as I would have if I had signed up, gone to monthly meetings, gotten emails all through the year... I just would have felt a lot more guilt/inadequacy if I'd been more aware of all the things I was saying no to...)

This is all not to say how terrible PTA is. We've benefited through the year from the hard work of all the great volunteers and the fun activities they've put on, and I'm grateful for all the people willing to help out in all those ways! I've enjoyed getting involved at the school with PTA in the past, and I'll probably enjoy it again in the future.  I've just also really enjoyed not getting involved in those ways this year!