Tuesday, January 12, 2016

hooray for journals

my treasure box of journals, about age 10-20

This morning I put on my favorite sweatshirt -- grey with a row of flowers and a tiny little "Brigham Young University", a childsize XL because the kids sizes were cheaper and I was a new college freshman when I bought it.   Scuffs and tears, I thought how this might just be its last winter.

And just like I usually do when I wear it, I remembered the picture I have, 15 years ago now,  in the same sweatshirt standing on the rocks on the San Diego beach with my good friend Laura.

Fifteen years ago! My new Heritage Halls roommate Laura was taking a quick road trip home and invited me to go along. And I felt so very, very loved.

I pulled my box of journals down from the top closet shelf this morning, just to remember that little trip. And what a delight! What sweet, happy memories of a little weekend and of such a happy and hopeful fresh beginning time of life.

...The whole drive as I looked out at those beautiful stars, I was just struck by all the things that are right in my life right now and all the wonderful opportunities and advantages that really have come to me... I just feel like I am in control of my life.  And what an incredible feeling that is!

Well my weekend in Santee is 'quickly drawing to an end' and it has been absolutely wonderful... It is so cool to me to just be here and be a part of so much love. 

And a bit later,  in a list of "I am grateful for..."

for the knowledge that as long as I am doing my best to do what I know is right -- everything will work out.  It will all work out. To know that my Father in Heaven wants me to be happy. Happy for all eternity! ... He knows what he's doing! He knows what I need ... and knows how to help me reach those things. 

for my life! For the wonderful feeling that I have of just everything being right in the world! Right with my life! Things are not perfect - no - but despite the stress and confusion I am feeling now - I am happy! What an incredible thing!